Feminist Criticism Is Juvenile At Best, Part 1

Yes, you read that correctly: Feminist Criticism. If you are a sane person [or male in general] then I can predict the first word that came to your mind the moment you read that: Bullshit.

If not, then why are you even reading this? Stop here and get back in the kitchen.

To continue, you may be wondering just where this even came up from. Well, me being in college, I had to purchase books, and one of them was written by Mary Shelley. This book’s name is Frankenstein. In it is the story of Victor Frankenstein and his Monster. But that’s not all. What is also presented within is a series of essays and analyses, one of which happens to be a Feminist Criticism. The best part of the entire bit is that the person who wrote the Feminist Criticism also edited the book itself [which means that, inherently, the entire book is wrong and should be burned much in the same way that this liberated woman, Johanna Smith, likely burns her bras in the name of “freedom from the patriarchy”].

Just as you may expect, this text by this woman is full of bias and shit.

Before the actual essay, there is a part that begins with detailing what Feminist Criticism is. It starts with that question “What is Feminist Criticism?” Well, we already know the answer. However, to point out this point of view, allow me to throw in some interesting tidbits from the text itself.

“Feminist criticism comes in many forms, and feminist critics have a variety of goals. Some have been interested in rediscovering the works of women writers overlooked by a masculine-dominated culture. Others have revisited books by male authors and reviewed them from a woman’s point of view to understand how they both reflect and shape the attitudes that have held women back. A number of contemporary feminists have turned to topics as various as women in postcolonial societies, women’s autobiographical writings, lesbians and literature, womanliness as masquerade, and the role of film and other popular media in the construction of the feminist culture.”

If that was tl;dr for you, this is the essentials you need to gather from it:

1. We are saying that female written books have been avoided.

2. Male books obviously hold back our freedoms.

3. Media has made women into what they are now.

Out of all of these, I will say the first and third are about correct, but the author is evidently wrong, primarily because she herself is a woman, and a woman doesn’t know how to read, write, or even comprehend what the fuck she’s talking about.

The first one says that books written by women have been avoided. With good reason, I say. Have you ever read a book by a woman? Generally it’s either A. a romance novel, B. something about being a woman, C. Harry Potter (more on this one later), or D. something glaringly boring (admittedly, Frankenstein was pretty boring, as all of the characters and the “voice” had a monotone sound to it that made me want to bang my head against the wall).

The third one says that Media has made women into what they are, and that is only partially correct. The other part to that ties into media though, which is probably why the author got confused when she attempted to make her poorly written point here: Women have made women into what they are. Unfortunately, there is a lot of women in Media, which is likely where the author tied the Media into the whole shaping of women.

To give an example, how often have we had Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan shoved in our faces? What all deeds have they done, good or ill? What are they teaching women, teenagers, and girls in today’s society? Ask yourself these questions, think about it, do some research, and enlighten yourself.

Jennifer Aniston against Angelina Jolie? Another long drawn-out tragedy. Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise? Get bent.

There have been more women in the news and media than you can possibly fathom. At least I can count the number of men who’ve been in the news on my hands and feet. If you want to do something about it, get these women to stop acting like the filthy whores they are and put them back in the kitchen where they won’t become spoiled sluts who make money by just appearing in public and think that just because they’re celebrities that it grants them the right to do anything they wish. It’ll make your daughters act just like them.

Now, to the second one. Male written books holding back female freedom is just silly. If someone can prove how a book can hold back the progression of any kind of feminist superiority, please do tell so we can snuff out feminism. Greatly appreciated.

Then again, perhaps reading is like poison to the female mind. It is, after all, not cooking, nor cleaning, nor pregnancy. The only thing the female mind can comprehend while retaining a semblance of female sanity is romance novels, which is the equivalent of female porn.

[As a side note, I should mention that there are women who have said that they would never read a romance novel written by a man. This entails a challenge, one in which women would have to be tricked in order to get them to read a manly romance novel. In other words, a nice pseudonym with a book would be tops.]

Part 2 will be done a little later. There will likely be a few more parts to this, as the author goes into different countries with Feminist Criticism, and each should be addressed separately.